A subconscious love for you
by Caractacus
Summary: Phil's not always been the most fearless of humans, however when he is trapped in a strange world, nothing to comfort him but the hints of Dan's presence, with Dan himself nowhere to be seen. Phil finds himself drawing strength from somewhere in himself that he didn't realize he had in an attempt to find the one he trusts the most and get out. Phan Fiction series. Psychological
1. I am

**Right, this story is gonna either be odd, strange, or downright eccentric depending on how much experience you all have with people like me. Then again this is a site for fan fiction so I know this isn't the wierdest thing here. This is gonna be a more of a psychological fiction, but it technically be a fan fiction as two maybe familiar youtubers will be the main characters. *wink* I'm just unsure of whether to make it into a more relationship kinda fiction or keep it clean. But for now I just wanna see where this goes.**

The biting cold scratched at the shoulder of the unconscious human, causing his eyelids to twitch unintentionally. The darkness that surrounded him waited hungrily for him to awake from the safe boundary that was his subconscious. It was almost as if it were waiting for him to become aware of it, so he would become more... vunurable.

As the wind began to rise in volume, so too, did the young male. He consciously moved his icy blue irises, attempting to adjust to the light. When they finally did and he acknowlaged the situation he was in, he sat up immediately. He winced once at the sudden jab of pain that had revealed itself in his shoulder. It was as if he had landed on it hard after falling.

Slowly, the male stood. His deep purple shirt and black hoodie he wore providing little to no warmth in his body, the pale grey jeans and mismatched socks covering his lower half just protecting him from any minor cuts he could gain in the following time.

Beggining to feel nervous the youth ran his hands through his jet black hair, which seemed to still have tinges of blue in it from a few days before.

The space around him was occupied by what seemed miles of trees, he couldn't be sure if there was anything beyond the space he saw now as only a few meters ahead everything was hidden in shadow. This began to dwell at the back of the male's thoughts, that this place wasn't normal, well of course it wasn't. But what if this place had no end? That he could never leave?

This notion began to frighten the male, eating away at his mind before panic began to rise. Fear absorbing him, he shouted the first name of the one he trusted most, half hoping he would answer, yet another half hope that he wouldn't, that meaning he was stuck here too.

"Dan! Dan, are you there?!"

When the only reply was the low hum of a gust of wind, the male began to feel a hopeless sense of loss. He had no idea where he was, he felt like he was in danger and didn't know if he could even leave.

Closing his eyes to the dim light, he attempted to recollect what had happened to him the day before. He remembered returning to his apartment with Dan, his flatmate, he remembered making coffee for himself and chuckled when he remembered Dan saying he had an addiction, after that he had taken a shower, gotten dressed and...The rest seemed a blur.

He switched his gaze behind him anxiously before he placed one foot ahead of him, then another, and another. He had to get out, had to get out, had to get out.

As he moved further and further away from where he was first awoken, the young male felt less and less safe, however he also felt he was approaching something. Maybe there would be some form of comfort ahead, A sign of human life, a form of shelter, maybe a way to figure out where he was...

Anything.

Feeling a little comforted by this thought, the male attempted once more to call for someone.

"Hello?! Is there anyone out there?!" Nothing. He tried again.

"Dan!? Can you hear me?! Its me! Phil!" Phil wasn't sure what it was forcing him to cling to the idea that his flatmate would be in a horrible place like this, but he would keep trying if he was. Something about this place made him wish Dan was there to put an arm round his shoulder and tell him it was fine, that he was being dumb and there was nothing to worry about.

Phil felt his heart miss a beat when he actually heard a faint sound, almost hidden amongst the constant drone of wind that filled the air. It sounded dulled out, as if it were from under water or something, almost a whisper, but there it was, a sound, a _voice._

_"I...c..n...hear...y..u... it..s...me."_

Phil spun wildly, ignoring any fear he had had before that point. It was Dan's voice. He knew it was, he had heard it every day for at least a couple of years now. He would recognize it any time.

"Dan! where are you? Please help!" Phil immediately fell silent, waiting for the reply, waiting to focus on it...

_"Th...s...way..."_

There. Phil had heard it to his right, he began running, his feet barely treading earth as he began to hear Dan's voice again, louder, louder, louder. He was getting close, he knew it. Dan would help him, he knew Dan would, just like he would do anything for him.

As he ran he felt something, it was small but Phil was feeling it in the pit of his chest, it was spreading, warming his ribcage. It wasn't exhaustion, he would run for as long as it took if it meant leaving this place and finding Dan. No, it felt different.

Whatever it was it was pushing him to move faster, to get to Dan before something might happen to him.

That was until Phil slowly drew to a halt when he realised, he could no longer hear Dan's voice.

It, along with the wind, had completely died down to a still and unnerving silence. As the lack of any sound apart from Phil's now ragged breaths held out for longer, the tension slowly began to rise. He tried again and again to call for Dan yet now he was only met with the cold, empty silence.

What if this place had merely been taunting him, making him think he could hear the one person he trusted the most when in fact, it was all in his head? The onyx haired youth fell into a crouch, hugging his knees as he tried to focus on Dan. The dark brown hair, the soft, almond eyes. The cheerful smile he would give him each morning when he came down to greet him, the not so cheerful smile he would give him in the morning when it was Dan's turn to get the post from all the way down the stairs. Phil felt tears threaten to form in the corners of his eyes as he began to let it sink in that he might not ever get to see those things again. That he would never see Dan again.

Just as Phil was trying to imagine himself away, he heard a soft crunch in front of him, he peered ahead, the pale, purple sky the only form of light he had. It was paper, scrunched up, yet the way it seemed so out of place in this macabre setting, perfectly untouched, void of any dirt apart from the parts in contact with the ground suggesting it had been placed mere seconds ago.

"What..?"

He leaned forward slowly however less than gracefully when he almost lost his balance and ended up pushing his right palm into the soggy earth, had it been raining..? But when he had woken before, the earth was dry below him...

Grimacing a little as he stood, note in hand, he flicked off as much of the mud as he could before he carefully opened up the paper, being careful as not to rip it. Upon reading the contents Phil frowned. This didn't make any sense, who would leave this behind..? And since he was obviously the only human here, what did it have to do with him? He stared for the longest time, attempting to analyse the words messily scrawled in a dark, thick marker:

_'PLEASE COME BACK'_


	2. Alone

Alrighteh! Chapter two dooone! It might be a bit long, but I hope you all love this so far! I am liking the idea of eventual phan (Nothing dirty or anything like that, who do you think I am? Haha) I think it will be very meaningful for the story's message and will be real sweet.

This one's from Dan's point of view and we get to see what on earth has been happening on the outside of what seems like Phils subconscious... Woo. =^.^=

_Tick, Tick, Tick. Goes the clock._

The clock in question that sat in the dreary apartment provided a consistent and rhythmic drumming against the ears of the only source of life in the room. However despite the strangely tensioned silence that emitted from the being, the sound of the clock now became to only form of comfort for the figure that stood alone. The only thing that would remain and never change, that would watch everything move yet never move itself, not even after all ended...time never did slow for anyone.

Yet it felt like it had stopped for Dan.

The dimly lit apartment revealed little of its contents, merely the shape of a bed, a dresser and several drawers. The window sat wide open, letting in the cold, night air. Dan stood, half hunched over, palms flat against the wall furthest from the furniture, close to the door. The keys to their apartment door had left a small, black scuff mark in the wall where it had been thrown out of anger against it, now it remained in the middle of the multi coloured duvet that covered the pale mattress that sat upon the bedframe with the now dark brown rivulet that had once been bright red painting one edge of what Dan's closest friend slept on.

_'Or used to.'_

At this thought a frail breath left Dan's mouth, he had stopped wandering around his apartment in silence about an hour ago when he realised he wasn't going to sleep tonight. After that point he had found himself leaning against the wall of his flat mate's room, motionless. He had been so for several minutes now, replaying the memories over and over again, as if he were an item without purpose.

_"You said that he just...collapsed right?" The nurse's soft voice had seemed so welcoming at the time but after she delivered that piece of news Dan would hear reverberating through his head for the rest of his life, the voice felt like sandpaper against his head._

_"I'm so... sorry. Dan was it? I'm afraid that-" She had stopped, glancing back at the room that his friend lay in, the bandages that covered his bruised head stained a pale scarlet after having to cover the wound created when the skull had come into contact with the corner of a bed frame._

_"I'm afraid that...Your friend is in a coma, now we're unsure if he'll awaken, these kind of conditions have always had varied outcomes-" _

His mind had taken in no more than that. And the memory faded, to be repeated again until the sun rose. Dan felt his body shake a little. His arms gave way and he turned before leaning his back against the supporting structure, slowly losing his balance as he slid down, falling to sit against the wall instead.

"How... the hell could this happen?" He heard his voice echo through the empty, bleak rooms of their home. He brought his palm to his forehead, pulling it back through the dark, oaky coloured strands of his hair. He rolled his eyes towards the open window, half contemplating jumping out. He wouldn't however, he knew this.

He was too much of a coward to do so.

His phone had been receiving none stop calls from others, people who cared about him, attempting to reach out to him. To support him on what had happened. Texts begging him to reply, to explain what had happened. Dan had switched off the device after the fifth call.

All these people seemed so meaningless to him now. He felt a monster thinking it but he felt... nothing. All the faces he remembered rushed past his vision in a blur, merging with each other as for the first time in a long time, Dan could feel himself truly falling apart. He hadn't shed a single tear however, this pain was so much more different from any other. The feeling of sudden fear, that from this point on... he was really feeling the human conundrum that was loneliness.

Maybe tears weren't enough to express such a thing.

"Screw it." Dan attempted to swat the emotion away, his head hung lower and lower, as if he were trying to hide himself. Something was wrong, it didn't feel like Phil was gone forever.

Just missing. Just away, he'd be back. He had to be.

Dan stood as he imagined Phil stumbling through the door, his hair messy, his usual goofy smile plastered across his face as he would explain that nothing had happened... Dan willed it so but of course such a ridiculous thing would never happen.

"Because miracles aren't real Dan. They don't happen to people like us." The young adult heard himself chant this statement, one he remembered saying before... So long ago, the last time he had felt similar to this.

_"But mum, she isn't ANYWHERE..?! She can't have gotten out of my room. The door was closed and everything!" Dan felt his eyes widened and tears build up as he saw his mother smile kindly to him, placing her hands through his soft, chestnut hair. "_

_Oh Dan, she couldn't have gotten far," As the smile upon her lips failed to reach her eyes, Dan could sense the lack of truth behind those words. "I know its been a day already but Suki will turn up, you never know. Miracles do happen."_

_His mother had hugged him then. The strength in her arms almost choking twelve year old Dan a little as he squirmed. After she rose and left him to his thoughts, Dan remembered the way he had played that sentence over and over in his head..."Miracles do happen, huh?" As he felt his chocolate eyed gaze slowly roll over towards the empty hamster cage that sat on his desk, extension tubes and sections attached to it as if it were some kind of complex system of wire and memory chips, Dan felt his eyes darken._

_"Miracles aren't real though are they?" His fist clenched tightly, "Because miracles don't happen to people like me."_

Dan, form left shaking after remembering this, padded back absent mindedly to his own room. He closed his eyes, attempting to relive other memories in the vague hope that it would somehow help Phil now. He slumped onto his own bed, feeling the soft welcome of the duvet and pillows, they offered no real sustenance to his thoughts now however. Only the psychical warmth. His eyes lay open, glazed over as they mindlessly washed over his room. The darkness merging with the light leaving no clear view of what he saw.

Dan began to focus his vision onto the center of his room, thoughts gliding pass, barely registering as he finally began to feel something in his eyes. Tears, fast and burning, trickled down his cheeks. They increased as Dan began to let out a small sob. Afraid of being heard by neighbors, Dan fell towards his pillow and buried his face into it, he lay there, cry after pained cry leaving his lips. This couldn't be happening, no, no, no, no, NO. And at the end of it Dan felt himself only saying one thing, something that seem to travel from his mouth to the open window, infecting its sorrow to the outside world:

"Please come back."

Alright, chapter two! I am really hoping this tale turns out the way I want it to. I'm starting to get attached to the idea of these two being a couple so I guess I will make it eventual Phan. I suppose this series wil not be too long, maybe three or four more chapers to go since I don't want to draw this out.

Be ready for chapter three, which I'm kinda excited for. We'll be back experiencing Phil's point of view and I'm gonna do something I guess that is interesting, I think.

Anyway, hope you guys loved this, until the next chapter, Bye!


	3. Hate is

**Haha...Oh ****_This_**** is gonna be so ****_confusing. _**

**Chapter Three is here and present. We're back with Phil and...Phil? (That will make sense later) In any case, this one is gonna be extra extra long since there's alot to cover before the next chapter.**

**Hope you guys are liking this so far, expect more to come!**

If only the silence had stayed.

After finding the crushed piece of paper that had presented such an unnerving message, Phil had begun moving again. Something about the note had worked its way into the dark haired male's mind, burrowing deep into his thoughts and forcing itself to surface every time Phil attempted to think of other subjects.

Since then the wind had picked up again, it was almost as if that note had cleared Phil's thoughts for just a single moment, before he remembered the constant drone in his head that was his fear. He wanted to escape, yet no way out had presented itself, he still hadn't even found his way out of this forest. Mere minutes after first awakening Phil had confirmed to himself that this place obviously had more to it than it seemed. Every now and then his vision would grow glitchy, his eyes catching sight of a sliver of shadow before they readjusted to see nothing.

Despite this Phil remained as focused as was possible, he didn't stop, didn't backtrack, if he kept to the same direction he would eventually find something. Anything. The light thud, thud, thud of his feet was now providing a vague sense of time that was passing for the young man.

"An... hour maybe?" He spoke aloud, the edge still notable in his throat. Nothing about this place provided any comfort for Phil, he felt every second that passed he had lost something, or was losing something. Maybe he was going insane, this place wasn't normal, nothing that had happened so far was normal.

He didn't _feel _normal any longer.

At that point Phil immediately clung to the memories of the people he knew with the motive that it would maybe force him to stop thinking such worrying thoughts. Carrie, Chris, Pj...

Dan.

Phil couldn't quite work out why, but the thought of Dan left him feeling so... odd. As if the thought of his best friend begun to clear his head but at the same time, leave him with his insides twisted, hurting.

Phil felt the frustration begin to rise from the pit of his stomach, untangling the knot that had remained in his throat for a while now. "What's _WRONG with me?!_" He cried. Phil then halted his movements, gripping his skull as a horrific pain suddenly set in. It was as if someone had taken a knife and pushed it into the back of his head. He inhaled sharply through his teeth, trying not to yell anything else for fear it would created more pain.

**"Oh give me a break, is this how pathetic you really are without me?"**

Phil's pain almost immediately died down at the sound of this voice. For a brief moment Phil expected to turn and see Dan stood there, arms crossed, the usual look on his features when Phil had said something odd that made no sense. However when he forced his weakened frame to rise and turn to look behind him, no presence of any sort of life showed itself.

"What..? But..." Despite the fact that it had been there for only a fragment of time, Phil found the voice incredibly familiar. An odd sensation in his innards began to build the longer he couldn't quite figure out the owner of the voice, but he just couldn't place it. The voice sounded malevolent, snarling. As if it were half man, half animal.

Feeling unease, Phil twisted himself back to face the way he had been before.

A pair of bright blue eyes met his, mere inches from his own.

Phil fell backwards, the presence of another human had startled him so much that his legs gave way and his back collided painfully with the earth below. Grimacing for a few seconds, the male brushed his now messy, black fringe from his eyes, bringing them up slowly.

And almost choked at what he saw.

The figure that stood before him now was one that Phil knew all too well, the one he saw every day without fail. Every time he strolled past the glass planes of shops in London, every time he glanced down toward his feet at the puddles after it had rained...

Every time he looked into the mirror to get dressed each morning.

Another Phil stood there, a half smirk etched onto its lips. Eyes cold and without emotion, harshly judging its 'other half' that lay sprawled on the ground below.

The doppelganger clicked its tongue disapprovingly at the sight of the real Phil. Bringing the two out of the ever stretching silence.

**"I asked a question, but I suppose its obvious what the answer is." **The other Phil crossed its arms briskly, sighing to itself as if such a gesture would hurry the one sided conversation on.

Phil swallowed the knot that had returned with vengeance in his throat, narrowing his own eyes at the new presence. This... was _impossible. _He rose to his feet, Phil was standing there speechless. He was looking... At himself? Why was he there, why was an identical Phil standing in front of him now? Could he be considered as his alter ego? It seemed snide enough to be so.

"What... are you..?" The other Phil grinned maliciously in response. No sooner than he had inquired, Phil's Ego had disappeared in the second Phil had blinked. The silence that once again enshrouded the two of them seemed deathly as the Other Phil reappeared behind Phil, gripping his shoulders, they felt like claws in his flesh, tearing at his hoodie, piercing his skin.

**"And he speaks, at last. Well, my other half, I would have thought someone even with your head would've taken a guess but I think that's expecting too much," **The other man that was Phil's Ego shoved Phil lightly, forcing him to spring forward and whirl to face his other half. The snarky and confident look on its face almost seemed unrecognisable to Phil. **"You haven't even realised why you're here. Do you know why you're here yet... Phillip Lester?"**

Phil frowned, a look of hurt in his eyes at this other Phil's stabbing insults. However he forced himself to keep his usual, bubbly personality intact. He breathed out slowly. "N-no, I don't... But I suppose you do?" He struggled to even comprehend this 'other half' as Phil's Ego had referred to him as let alone respond to its taunts and queries.

The Other Phil merely raised an eyebrow in regards to Phil's question.

Calming down more, Phil now took in the appearance of this... imposter. It really was his other half, that much was clear. Only minor differences showed, its clothes were a little more clean looking, its smug expression as opposed to Phil's dazed one, its posture radiated a level of confidence that probably couldn't even be achieved by Dan when he made his videos.

Almost in response to the thought of Dan, the Other Phil sighed hopelessly, leaning its back against a tree, the expression it bore one of simultaneous boredom and amusement.

**"You can't go five seconds without thinking of him can you? And yet you can't even see what is shown in front of you now." **The other being moved swiftly towards Phil, jabbing its index finger into Phil's torso. Phil raised his hand to push it away, but let it drop.

"Why don't you quit treating me like I'm stupid when you won't even explain what you mean?" Phil could feel himself shaking, his attempts to hide his fear and confusion seemed only temporary, and clearly this Other Phil knew. It grinned again, a little too widely. That was when Phil noted something else.

The eyes had... changed. Before a bright blue, they had now darkened and the colour had crumbled away to reveal them as black, empty irises.

**"I treat you exactly as you should be treated, besides. It wouldn't be a change from how ****_he_**** treats you, would it?"**

That struck a chord.

"Don't talk about him like that. Dan's my closest friend! He doesn't think I'm stupid!" Phil's fists began to clench tightly, the anger rising in his blood, suffocating his limbs from any feeling. He moved forward, his form now close enough to land a good punch...

Phil's Ego merely shrugged at what seemed like a threat. It licked the corner of its mouth as the tension rose between them. It pushed further. The Other Phil's voice barely above that of a whisper. Yet it seemed to be all around Phil, sending a tingle of cold down his spine.

**"Oh please, it happens all the time. He judges you, he thinks he's higher than you, don't try hiding it from me. I was there too."**

Phil's breath became more torn as he struggled to control himself.

**"You are such a coward, refusing to admit something that is right there in your thoughts eh?"**

_You're wrong..._

The Other Phil moved fast, placing a hand onto Phil's shoulder.** "You see nothing, you can't help him, and you never will."**

_You don't know anything..._

Finally the doppelganger's voice rose, a snarl escaping its mouth. It pushed its other half, who collided with the carcass of an old, dead tree behind them.** "Because after so long, what do you have to show for it?"**

Phil's Ego leaned forwards, its mouth at Phil's ear. It smirked once more, anticipating the anger rising in Phil.

**"Nothing..!"**

Phil saw himself move forwards and his other self met him with a terrifying grin as he attempted to throw a punch. The other half caught his hand easily, it clasped its fingers around Phil's clenched fist, causing a shooting pain to force its way up Phil's arm, sparking in his already aching shoulder, a cry forced its way from Phil. However the spiteful words from his Other self seemed to echo through his head. This forced adrenaline to pump through Phil's veins as he threw his other fist.

His clenched palm managed to hit a shoulder before it too, was secured in the palm of Phil's Ego. The being in question hadn't attempted a single attack just yet, almost as if fighting were not on his mind.

But to provoke him.

As Phil kicked out, his other half didn't react fast enough. Soon they both made contact with the ground, however both ignored so. Other Phil now had a cut above his left eye where it had fallen.

**"Since you're so intent on forcing me to break a limb, humor me until you do." **Phil's Ego quickly took advantage of the position and secured his hands around Phil's neck. Phil, not ready for such a violent act, began to panic. His breaths grew irregular, he coughed and spluttered as the Other Phil grew more impatient.

**"Why do you defend him? No one goes to this much effort for a mere friend. Why?"**

Phil felt his thoughts halt for a moment as he frowned up at his superior self. The question began to burn as well as his eyes did, as tears began to emerge once again. He shouted back, which in his state, only came out a sketchy cough.

"He's my best friend!"

Other Phil scoffed,** "But he isn't, is he?!" **Again the sensation from way back before when Phil had been running rose, spreading across his chest.

"Yes he is, why wouldn't he be?!" It was on the tip of his tongue, the edge of his thoughts. Something else, something big. And Phil's ego knew it all too well.

**"Because you want him to be something more!" **Other Phil screamed, his shout resonating with Phil as his mind suddenly, _finally_... became cleared of the doubt, the hesitation. Phil felt his body relax as he looked into the dark eyes of his Ego, they softened.

"You're...right."

Almost immediately the wind finally died down, before the skies above the two of them unleashed a blinding flash of lightning, the thunder that followed it immediately deafened and drowned out the echoes of Other Phil's shout. As the light eventually faded, Phil slowly came to his senses. He sat up as he realised that he could no longer feel the other being's claws tightened around his throat. When his eyes finally readjusted to the view...

The Other Phil had vanished.

He wasn't out of the dark yet however. Not before the voice, so full of twisted anger and conceit before, now calm and almost...happy, whispered one final message into Phil's ear before returning to the depths of Phil's thoughts.

**"Finally, you knew all along."** The voice began to fade away, until Phil almost didn't hear the second part.

**"I merely helped you along the way."**

**Oooohooooooo It got exciting for a moment there I guess. Anyhoo. This is probably my favoured chapter right now, not sure why. But I hope you guys loved it!**

**I might take a while to create the next chapter as I'm not entirely sure what to have happen next, got a couple of ideas so once I figure out how to write them, I'll do so.**

**Anyway, next chapter will be with Dan. Where I suppose he'll start piecing together what's going on. Until the next chapter, bye!**


	4. My own insanity

**Heyo! Bet you all thought Phil was in a pinch there and... I guess he was but ah well. He pulled through, as always. I'm not saying we're reaching the finale but I now have a proper ending planned from here on and its hopefully gonna be what you'll all like. Ahem.**

**Alright! We are now back with Dan, sorry I took a while to write the new chapter but exams, worrying, a minor case of writers block and mugs of hot chocolate but here we are! Better late than never! Dan's beginning to piece together the situation and it all get decided by a little prompt from another. But will Dan figure it out in time or will he begin to let the doubt seep in? We find out!**

Dan awoke with a start. He blinked once, then twice.

He could see the pale illuminated outlines of his own room, the monochrome sheets of his bed, the desk sitting silently by it. The odd chandelier like light that hung above his head. The strange venesian cat mask still carefully nested in its graceful spindle arms. It stared back at him curiously, as if observing his behaviour attentively, like a parent would watch its offspring.

Realising that he lay on the floor, his front facing the ceiling, Dan slowly sat up. As he did he felt a dull ache in his spine and neck. He must have fallen off of his bed at some point. Adjusting himself so that he could lean his back against the edge of his desk, Dan desperately attempted to recall what had happened.

It all came flooding back. The high wailing of the ambulance, the bright blare of white that was the hospital, the way his heart had wrenched in his chest at the sight of his flat mate. All the memories blurring and blinding his vision as the flickering images began to make his thoughts swim.

No. Drown.

The youth clutched his forehead as he shook a little. He took several deep breaths, then finally stood.

Something else flashed in front of him, a photograph of what he couldn't quite place as memory or dream. A familiar face that seemed horrifically out of place in its surrounding. Something about the blurred image made Dan's innards tense, he could feel a sensation building up in his throat as he tapped in on the view of the face, dark, trapped, alone-

Dan breathed in sharply at his headache.

Everything seemed oddly quiet. Well of course it was. He glanced at his window, it was light outside, no doubt about it. Dan began to half heartedly trudge out of his own room and into the kitchen. The serene silence that occupied the air added to the feeling of it all being a dream. A manifestation of his twisted mind.

Another flash, the same face, in the same background, but it was still all blurry. Dan began to feel the familiar tug in his chest he swore he had felt before as he tried harder and harder to focus on the images he had seen. The more he tried, the more he hurt. He sighed, giving up on it before he began to look around again. The apartment was cold, obviously in response to leaving the window open the whole night. He turned on the kettle, he needed a drink, something to wake him up. As the droning hiss of steam began to build in the contraption, Dan left the kitchen and headed towards the source of the freezing morning air being let in.

The second his foot had passed into Phil's room Dan felt his legs give way as he fell to a crouch, he could hear things, see things, things he didn't remember but at the same time were so forcibly real that they seemed to have happened mere minutes ago. Voices, whispers, pleas for help. They taunted him, teased him.

_"What...are you..?"_

Dan froze, no one was in the room, but who was..? He flinched when he realised who it was. Something about his voice was making him feel strangely hopeful. Comforting almost. The voice wasn't speaking to him, and for some reason Dan knew this. It spoke up once more.

_"N-no, I don't... but I suppose you do?"_

Dan rose quickly, panic rising. He could hear him, he was there. He could _hear_ him. But he wasn't here, he couldn't be here, he was in the hospital, unmoving, never stirring. The chestnut haired youth felt his eyes began to once again focus as he heard the whispers fade away. He walked over the Phil's window, looking to his left, then to his right. He felt silly, there was no one there, he knew there wasn't. He closed the open window, exhaling slowly to regain his senses.

He wasn't sure how long he remained stood there, thinking about his flat mate. He remembered each and every feature he could about Phil. Which wasn't difficult, it was hard to forget anyone like Phil. Phil was... special... to him. He couldn't decipher why, whenever he was with Phil he would always seemingly lose his usual thoughts that he had about his fears, that one day he would die, everything he had ever done would be gone in the mere blink of an eye. That everything he had would be stripped from him leaving him a empty shell.

Funny enough, Dan felt that had already happened. He felt there was no point to anything now.

A sharp sound of what at first Dan thought was a scream split the air before it was immediately accompanied by a loud crash of what sounded like something falling over. Dan, less than intended, jolted before turning to defend himself, in doing so his wrist clipped the radiator under the window. Dan clutched the stinging joint, calming down and feeling disappointment when he realised it was merely the kettle in the kitchen that almost given him a heart attack and cost him a hand. Dan felt himself relax a little as he made his way towards the kitchen. Rounding the corner he stopped.

Something was horribly wrong.

"W-what?"

The kettle had fallen over on its side, it had to be the only reasonable explanation, there was no one else around to knock it over themselves. Dan put that down to him not placing back properly in its stand before when he had removed it to fill up with water.

What he knew he wasn't responsible for was however, was where the steaming water had created condensation on their glass kitchen door, coating it with a cloudy layer of water vapour.

At least, some of it.

No what made Dan's eyes widen, his breathing hitch and his chest convulse, were the markings that had been made on the door, words written by hand. Just one thing, but something about it terrified the young adult.

'Dan'

His name had been written, not once mind you, but many times, in different sizes, different ways until the point where they were all Dan could see. Yet despite this each time it had been written, every single one appeared...scrawled, messy. As if whoever had created the message had been in a blind panic.

Or had been running out of time trying to write them.

It was Phil. Dan didn't doubt it for a second, he wasn't going to be the clueless character that never figured out the meaning of the messages until the end of the film, he was going to find out what was happening to his best friend, Phil was trying to get to him, he was reaching out to him. Or..

No. No he wasn't going to say it.

Dan continued to stare in shock at the glass door as he thought. No, no he wasn't going _insane_, sure he made the odd joke about it in his videos and such but this was real, it had to be. He wasn't going _crazy._ He thought about it as rationally as was possible. He just was feeling the shock of what was happening to Phil, that had to be it. Yeah...

'_There's nothing wrong with me.' _He heard himself think. He took a nervous step towards the door. Half expecting to get some kind of jump scare. '_No...No there's nothing wrong with me_.' Dan shook his head, he needed to get past this, if he wanted any hope of helping Phil.

He then opened the glass door, resetting the kettle in its proper place before cleaning up the still heated water that covered the kitchen floor. All the while contemplating what to do next. He glanced back at the now faded writing on the glass door, he frowned.

He was hearing someone he had lost, and was seeing messages from them. It sounded so familiar. He remembered reading about cases such as the one that he appeared to be in. It was all the psychological lore that he had read up before. He had been into this stuff.

Yet it felt so strange when he realised he was becoming a part of the stories he had read and freaked himself out with, the ones he would find at night and terrify himself into staying awake until morning. A sense of fear began to wash over Dan again, yet made him feel he knew what to do, how to get to his flatmate, his best friend. There was no true way to break a coma, Dan knew that much...

He knew what he would do now.

**-quotes-**

**Alright, I was gonna use these in the chapter but decided not to included it however I thought I'd put them here for you all to see some of the phrases I found while looking up stuff about comas and subconscious since they seemes kind of interesting:**

**While searching up 'hearing someone elses voice in the head':**

_**"someone who is lonely may really value a voice that becomes a trusted confidant"**_

_**"A person who has recently lost someone they care about may benefit from talking to them at the end of the day"**_

**About 'voices in the head':**

_**"It's also common for people to hear voices as if they are thoughts entering their mind from somewhere outside themselves"**_

_** "Voices can be like dreams" "Hearing voices can be like that – a waking dream that is experienced as real."**_

**I dunno if this chapter is alright or not, but you'll understand where this is going I hope. Anyway, hope you loved this so far, and until the next chapter, bye!**


	5. But you

**Ooh, its all coming together..! We are indeed reaching the story's finale which is only two chapters away. I have planned them out and they will be posted hopefully soon after this one (Maybe several days between them) so don't worry, you won't miss out on any wasted time waiting too long for them..! **

**Now that Dan and Phil have both made realisations about each other they are trying to reach out and say what needs to be said. Tensions rise as it all draws to a close as these two YouTubers try to find each other. Wanna know how its all gonna go down? Find out..!**

**—-**

By the time Phil's eyes re opened, he could feel trepidation clouding his actions. Once again, he lay on the ground, his form now pristine and untouched. The scars from before had vanished, leaving his skin in its usual, pale, smooth state. Something felt different however, Phil felt weird, his innards were being as difficult as ever, enforcing a sensation of nausea as he eventually stood.

The dark haired man felt a sense of de ja vu as he took in his surroundings just as he had the first time.

That is, if there were any.

Looking around, Phil saw... nothing. No more trees, not a single breath of wind accompanied Phil's own. Which were increasing in speed as he tried to shout out, but found his voice had been completely severed from him. He couldn't say a thing, he felt helpless. Only the ever expanding darkness was what Phil saw. No matter which direction he turned, or how hard he tried to focus on a single spot, it remained dark.

Phil could feel pressure on his temples as the overbearing sense of silence from before had returned with a vendetta against him. Suffocating him, but at the same time it was as if Phil could feel nothing at all.

Glancing down Phil saw that the floor he appeared to be standing on was smooth and mirror like, almost as if he were stood upon a perfectly calm lake of water. Cautiously, he crouched down and held a shaking hand towards it, half expecting himself to fall through. Instead his palm merely created ripples of white light which began to stretch and contort the further out that they spread, dancing before Phil's eyes before they eventually faded and rippled out of sight.

_'What in the heavens is going on now...?' _Thankfully, Phil discovered he could

still form coherent thoughts at least. However they seemed to echo around him, travelling far out and back, almost like the ripples had.

Strange or not, the ripples had produced a temporary light source. And they had been the comfort that Phil hadn't felt in this place for a long time. He reached out again, this time flicking the surface that supported him. An outburst of light erupted from the floor, surrounding Phil in its glowing, white haze. Phil used the chance and slowly turned around, observing as much as he could, hoping he would see something. As calming as the light was, nothing came into view. Growing more desperate, more frustrated he punched outwards at the ground. The lights he was creating bouncing of its own tides as Phil created more and more light, trying to scream but being unable, trying to call for help but being forcibly silenced.

Phil could no longer hold back, tears were now running down his features, falling from his face to only be swallowed up by the strange, water like floor. The young man felt too many emotions inhabiting his soul.

Anger, nothing he ever did had gone right so far and the one thing that had had only been answered with him ending up in this now featureless space.

Fear, it had been residing within him since he'd awoken that he might never get out, however that fear was now becoming Phil's reality. That every time he escaped one terrene, he would be moved to the next.

Depression, after he had come to his realization about Dan, he had been sure that he would find a way out. To tell Dan what he had been ready to die just to say. Now he would probably remain here forever, he would never get to tell Dan what he knew, what he _felt_.

That he..._ loved _him.

Love. Of course that swam through his thoughts too. Yet it was drowning, Phil knew this. He would never get out, and even if he did he wouldn't be able to look Dan in the eye, tell him what happened, or even about his 'revelation'.

More tears.

For a long while Phil merely stood, his head hanging low, his tears merging with the surface below. He still remained silent however, his throat unable to force out any form of sound. However the screams tearing across his mind were practically deafening Phil. Until he felt something.

He wasn't sure whether to flinch away or face whatever he was feeling. It was small, miniscule in fact, if it hadn't been for the fact he was stock still, Phil most likely wouldn't have noticed it.

The ripples. They were returning and now gently lapping at Phils bare feet.

Phil's head snapped up, moving from his toes to follow the direction of the ripples. They were moving in from behind where he stood. Turning round Phil looked ahead, the darkness being interrupted by a faint glow of deep red light.

Whatever it was it was approaching Phil, fast.

Phil at first felt a twinge of anger and fear, what more could this stupid place throw at him?! How dare this world think it possibly had more to torture him with..!

Phil was about to fall into a defensive stance, ready to block whatever attack was coming his way. That was, until he could make out a dark shape moving within the light.

Human, Six feet and three-ish inches. Average build, dark hai-

Phil felt his ribcage judder with the shock as he instantaneously identified the figure.

No way, no, it couldn't be...

Phil could now make out that the figure wasn't just moving towards him, it was sprinting, he could practically see the rise and fall of the chest now, he was so close. A panicked and hopeful voice tore across the emptiness, reverberating around the area and reaching Phil's ears in a matter of seconds before the figure did.

"Phil!?"

—

**Woahoho. Its almost over guys! I'll be sad to see this one end but like I said, I don't want this to become too long a series otherwise I'll probably end up having no idea what I'm doing, ahe, he...yeah.**

**But anyway, I think it only has one chapter left to go before we FINALLY get to see the end to this adventure. **

**I hope you have all enjoyed it. I would say this has been one of the most driven stories that I 've forced onto a computer screen. Even if it doesn't get that many reads, favs whatever. I don't care, I had so much fun writing this and that's all that matters, right?**

**Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it so far and until the next chapter, bye!**


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